Who the Fuck is This?

 Hi y'all I want to tell you something.

In the last year I've been quite ill off and on. I had long term gallbladder problems and without wanting to lost a lot a LOT of fucking weight. I've been struggling with it very hard. I don't want to be a thin person. I had surgery over the past summer and I was really hoping by now that I'd be a bit thicker but, it is looking like i'm going to be this size.

Part of my upset has been that for the past 5-6 years I got very good at curating my wardrobe to suit myself. For the record I ONLY dress to impress me.

@shannons.chiaroscuro new @KILLSTAR ♬ original sound - Quazy vibes 😝🤟🏼

I did so well I had a wardobe I was purely in love with. In love with myself. THen I had to face the fact that my body has radically changed. I have a fucking thigh gap. Do I want it? Fuck no but this is how I'm built and shaped at this size so, here we are. I've been working to look at my body as it is right now and get to at least neutral. I think I'm getting there. Part of my problem has been that I feel weirdly self conscious about my newly thin body. 

I have been miserable and struggling. I've never once really hated my body. I loved my fat fatter and fattest body. I have for a few years  mourned the loss of my fat community. Right now I'm still learning how to dress my body in a way I find pleasing and I'm finally getting there. I also have been hiding my body. Hiding how small I actually am because I felt ashamed in a way, this isn't the body I imagine having and I have felt weird.

So instead of mourning I'm dressing myself in ways that bring me pure joy. Bell bottoms are in style so I'm buying a shitload of them. I'm buying ones with patterns because they make me feel glamorous.

@shannons.chiaroscuro

new pants. 7/10 no pockets in front. current fave song. cold weather fit.

♬ This Is New York - ScarLip

>

And I'm working on not wearing outfits like the one above when I feel self conscious. I need to emotionally remember that I am entitled to being able to love my body and dress it in whatever way I want. 

I have Fat Liberation to thank for this. If I hadn't really come into adulthood studying these things, if I hadn't been in the Fatosphere, if I hadn't been in Fatshionista I would be falling apart. I'm not.

I look cool as fuck.

 

@shannons.chiaroscuro

ootd. comfy Corp goth forever on my bs

♬ original sound - Quazy vibes 😝🤟🏼

I am starting to figure out my body as it is right now and I feel good. Today I feel like I'm having a pure victory. I picked up this piece from Killstar (for way less we'll talk about how I get more expensive items I have a system) and y'all. I had planned on styling it with a dress but wore it with my tiktok shop unitard and.......I FEEL SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL AND POWERFUL.

13 year old me is right this minute losing their whole entire shit. THIS IS HOW I WANTED TO LOOK WHEN I GREW UP. 

Next time I'm going to really lean into my general urban wizard aesthetic and wear OTK boots and do a whole look but for a test run, BAYBEEE.

I MEAN LOOK AT ME RN.

I mean...........come on.

 

My Uniform

 HELLO gorgoeus!

Let's talk about the concept of a uniform and why I love it. As I've been redoing my wardrobe due to bodily changes, I like what I like. 

I am a 90s goth forever. I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE. I also like some specific shapes and outlines for clothes. And I use my knowledge of what shapes, what style of draping and what silhouttes I like to lead me to fashions I like. Lez go. We'l talk my cold weather uniform that I can be seen in most days it is under 50 degrees.

Leggings/tighter bottom, big ass hooded top or big ass tunic. I love to get in some asymetry, dramatic as fuck hem lines etc. As I've long joked my cold weather aesthetic is very much Main character, Anime grey guy, will give yo a side quest urban nazgul wizard.

The fuck does that mean? LEMME SHOW U. 

Let's go back.

[Image description: a photo of the author hands on hips they are wearing black jeggings, black docs and a black cardigan]

The outfit (YES I had that shit archived boo) remains very close to my general casual cooler weather looks. I love a good bottom (HA don't we all), a cute sweater or sweatshirt and that's what I do.

This is my outfit from the other day:

@shannons.chiaroscuro #VoiceEffects ♬ original sound - I'm just a baby

The top came from my current fave goth brand Killstar. Honestly I was slow to jump on board the Killstar train, I picked up a couple of cheaper items from them years ago and was unimpressed until I thrifted some pieces and figured out the best way for me to shop with them.

Killstar is not cheap and some of their stuff isn't worth it. For me I buy a lot of tops there. I love the big oversized unisex hoody type, long type tops and dresses. I don't wear expensive base stuff like leggings, camis etc. I buy those on the low so I can splurge on a hot top I like. I also create wishlists and stalk sales.

Here's how I manage it. Yesterday I was wearing the Atmos pull over hoody. I picked it up at their super clearance for $15.00 since it wasn't an I can't live without it piece, I let it chill on my wishlist after the initial drop of that line and when I saw a price I liked YOINK. That's how I do it. Or I will save for a good piece. Not on sale I don't buy tees, tanks, undies, tights or leggings from them. I had a couple of pairs of full priced leggings from them and the quality just didn't justify the cost.

And below another variation on the uniform. Your uniform can make getting dressed, buying clothing and just feeling joyful in your ass covers way easier. 

I'm wearing the boots shown today and I'll have a full feature review of them up soon. 

Okay I love you byeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

@shannons.chiaroscuro

do not. the gremlin

♬ Sex and Violence - The Exploited

One Thing Gay and Two things Glamour

Hello dearest friend!

An outfit post, small review.

First the outfit. For reference here are my stats and these are not aspiration or good or bad. It is just for reference and the state my body is in now. 

I am 5'3", currently I wear a size 3-4.

@shannons.chiaroscuro #CapCut ♬ Increments - Realxman

 Let's talk the details and you're gonna find out how I feel about fast fashion right this instant. This whole outfit is a mall goth fit. The way my body is built Jrs sized clothing fits me best and because I've had to replace my whole wardrobe from draws on up, I can only afford stuff from not great sources. And we'll talk more about that later. 

Now the details.

First up those mother fuckin pants. These are the Cosmic Aura Black & White Stripe Girls Flare Pants from Hot Topic in a size sm. First impression these are very nice quality. Say what you want about being a mall goth but in the many many years I've shopped HT, often their pants are great. They are soft and silky, Not see thru. I am not a huge fan of the rise.

I'm short. I'm smol. I have a short torso and it is a struggle. I would say on a person with a longer torso they'd be mid/close to high rise. On me without folding them over at the waist I can tuck them under my titties. 

And y'all, I love bell bottoms. These are big bells, they swish when you walk and I felt so god damn glamorous. 10/10 recommend.

The rest of the fit is a cardigan I got at Forever21 about 4 years ago, the tank is one from amazon that I got in a pack.

I LOVE how these fit on the booty. I don't have much but look ain't she cute. As I get older the general outline of my aesthetic hasn't changed that much. I am having to learn to dress a different body shape and this outfit is a winner. 

And here's a link to that awesome song. I discovered this artist on tiktok, enjoy!

Love,

Shannon

New Blog Same Old Face! Ft Juvia's Place

 Hi welcome.

I'm your host Shannon holy damn I'm a blogger again.

[image description: the author a Black femme wearing clear gloss, purplish blush, light eyeshadow]

I'm your new buddy Shannon and we're gonna talk a lot about style but not in the way you might be used to. First up I don't believe in or participate in the following:

• Flattering/age appropriate/size appropriate etc type rules. Nah. We ain't do that over here.
• Shame folks for shopping in the ways they can. I will talk about my own ethics in shoppin g but that is not an invite to try and correct me. If you want to do that, bring cash or leave me alone.
• Obvious but, we don't do racism, homophobia, transphobia, colorism, TERFS/FARTS CAN FUCK OFF GET OUT, sizeism, ableism. Nah we don't do that. So if you see tips or things for people who aren't you, don't freak out.

I will sometimes use affiliate links. If I do I will tell you. I am not currently famous enough for PR or whatever so you'll get what I think.

I'm building some shop links where I'll recommend stuff and add to it here and there. Soon I'll have a page of links for stuff to read, etc.

AND while we're talkin about looking good I hope you stick around for the Fat Liberation politics and ranting!

Welcome!

 Welcome to my new home on the internet. Get style inspo, commentary and more here!